idk why god hav to give a birth to me, i'll be under oat.
WHY DONT U ask me if i want to hav this fccking life. all of my life as last as i could remember,
i NEVER Hav a LIFE like ordinary girl. i never know the feeling of my childhood, My begin is fccking hard to pass of unlimit trouble ,i lost my faith of truelove, True friend, trust and hope, i got betray by ingrate over and over . I giveup to be grateful for my mom. I consecrate my ordinary life and do EVERYTHING for take a turn for the better for my parent to be secure . It's too much difficult for 16 years old girl to go work in night life .
I meet many many drunkard, demagogic and bad partner nonstop lure me to go downfall by contraband . Me , 16 years old it's overdo ....for me is. i tried to learnd how to live in night life and keep myself selfty . it's danger but too much salary. i could make my family (that time i hav no money even i hungry) to be better, my mom could eat everything as her want. my sister never arduous anymore
i work
everyone i love being happy without financial distress.
now little innocent girl who always got teased from customer is already 19 years old . My salary is higher, my work is easier, it's gonna be perfect..............
and one day this little girl agree that she has depression disorder....
all parent dont know why it happened....
This little girl's thought that she is the main of family to earn money
she's sick..... but keep work as usual
she has to wake up to go school at 6am and backhome, take a shower , prepare for work and go to work around 4-5pm . hard working without rest (lots of work = lots of money)
mightnight my bar close and i arrive home at 1-2 am
I Have no enough energy for learn in my class and headache everyday.....
i hav one friend... she never ask me why i hav to back home so fast and why i never try to be friendly with another learner.
i always walk at school alone but......one friend follow me everytime.
acturlly i sincarely i NEVER care her becuz i serious about work and family only.......
i have first friend at school... she's name Tuckkiez Chanida
i didt serious about our relation, just keep going together everyday
i tired of work and study....every morning my friend name Tuck call out me for wakeme up.....but i was said bad word to her becuz i tired...
i never know how much she hav to endured with my badmood everyday
that time, i dont care......i didt wanna be closely with her.
in my head think only work and improving my family to be better
i thought i dont need friend becuz i got terribly betray by my closefriend before....
one night.... i talked with my mom..... i tired i overdo.. i hav no time for anything.......only work...for money
get drunk everyday and avoid drunker, entertrain, talk with VIP. customer ,listen many problem from customer and take care of them
night life is strangely and need to hav a good skill of solve a problem
U need to becareful of nag (common) have to be sociable but beware of cheater , Partner (Danger to be friendly... they insincere and two-faced..... i had many lesson from night life..... no trust...no borrow money.... no drug addict.. no gossip . only work is peachfull
everyday everyday everyday everyday everyday everyday
i hav too much money that i never hav....
i consult with my mom while we going to sleep
i said i tired , i dun hav enought rest and my heathy is gloomy
my mom never saw many salary like this before too
and we wrong turn...
we prefer to quit from school and work full time only
start tomorrow
i didt even tell my friend, only her......i didt answer her call
i scare i'll hurt her, idk how to make it better .
i call to my favority teacher , i said i gonna quit from school
she ask for reasons and i told her my reasons incude wht my mommy tell me
my teacher understand me but she so sad becuz i'm in dean's list...
even i took a nap i still got top score of exam....(idk why)
my teacher warning me to go the right way . she disagree with me she tried to teach me with kind sound about my future....
only her is my bestest gracious teacher......teach with reasons
anyways.... i hav to walk away from school....from friend...no more class no more study....
my only friend .... she cried everytime she hear my name and while she got my book...that write my name.....
1 weeks later
my teacher called me again and tell me about my friend....she cried all the time and non of smile.... my friend look at my book and start reading boring lesson.... she keep all my book ....
i hurt her feeling...
now
this time, today
i wanna tell u that i was choose wrong turn for 1 time
it's is... i quit my school.... im so far from student and being night life girl , more smart more fake more money.....
but unhappyness.....
money.....is not happyness
today is already fin 3 years i quit from school
i found my true friend......she ...wait me...even now
i just wanna say
if i know the end of this story (it's coming)
i wont quit my school
i'll be ordinarygirl
hav friend....
fun....
happy....
now
i dont have anything....
nothing i get by work......it's make me being bittch
fake for money and lost myself , my work being deeply and it going to be illegal , i cant quit....if i can say only one word for my friend....
i'll tell her.......Thanks to be my truefriend and thanks for love me
now i hav no anything.....even my mind.... it's gone...
i know i'm going to sleep forever... but i cant tell the day...it's coming... i cant control . 3 years i tried.....it's nullity
everything i choose is nullity
.........
Thanks for be my friend, Tuck.
